..................................another long rant

i dont mean to start anything but is your last post taking a dig at our own lovey dovey couple? =p

well, since unknown has been bugging us for more, let me just write down what is going through my mind right now.

IS THERE A HEAVEN? or more specifically IS THERE A GOD?

i have been brought up by 2 staunch christian parents. and have been going to sunday school ever since i could walk. it has been drummed into me that there is only one god. jesus christ. as years went by, i started to feel that the only reason that i was going to church was because i didnt have a choice. mum and dad wanted me to go and i did. at first, i had my friends there and it sort of made it more bearable. more fun. but as everyone started leaving, to further their studies overseas, church just became boring.

whenever i hear a testimony from someone, i do not immediately think that it was through divine intervention that this person is not dead. i try to figure out a logical, earthly reason about why that happened. well, sometime when things have no explanation, you still have to believe. its called FAITH. but is it really? for instance, one thing that my family always does, when we cannot find a carpark at a packed shopping mall, we pray and ask god for carpark. lo and behold, someone decides to leave at that moment in time. a miracle? i think that if we had gone round long enough someone would have eventually left. albeit a little longer time would have been wasted going round. but i do not think that it is divine intervention. call me faithless. but i have had too much time on my hands lately. all this time should have been channeled into more productive means, but no, i choose to sit around and mope. just like jian xiong =p and think of stupid things that me as a 20 year old should not be thinking about. maybe later in life. but not now. i'm still young! what i am trying to say is...........

i really dont know what i am trying to say. i just needed to rant.

anyways, i honestly dont know what this post is supposed to be about. people actually come to our blog to read, so here is something to read. i've been going through lots of crap lately. mostly from home. how does it feel like to not talk to someone for a whole freaking week because of a small spat that happened? at first i was really angry but as time went by i realised that i was just being childish. and i didnt even have the guts to apologise face to face. i had to bloody write an email to the person. well, i'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that when the person reads it, he will be able to forgive me for what happened.

well, i cant seem to think of anything to write at the moment. i seem to have hit writer's block. haha. i'll just sit here and cross my fingers that everything will work out fine for me.

btw, if any of you have a spare phone lying and you dont think u'd be needing it anytime soon, let me know. my phone died on me, and i cant afford to get another one. haha.

cheers
josh