It's a long story....

I finally managed to get myself to start blogging again. Like most things in life, it's just gets boring and you say to yourself fuck it. But then i think bout the million of readers of this site. Not wanting to disappoint them, so here i am. Come to think of it, it's been a while since my last entry, so i gonna do a little recap. I basically screwed up my first semester. Every one says how important to start the first sem with a bang. There was a bang alright. Sem one just blew up in my face. Fuck. Just wanna forget this whole shit. But can't. In a few days time i be reminded again what a fucking failure i am. This time in black and white. Moving along.

Langkawi....

Then there's the langkawai trip. It was fun. Learned abit bout myself and people around me there. I.e. I count white spots on my hand when i'm drunk.haha. And that it is was humanly possible to puke out of your nose. If you don't belive me i think kim will be more than glad to show you.haha. Then there's andrew, he's one guy you'll wanna have around for more than one reason cause he's a freaking walking atm and cause he'll take care of you when your drunk. Still owe this guy 100 bucks. But nothing a few blows wouldn't settle. Right drew? One more thing dont share a room with this guy cause he'll leave the bathroom smelling like cum(dun wanna what he did in there)...Same goes for rao, doesn't get drunk easily and leaves cum smell too hahaha. Then there's navin, this guy was pretty quite throughout the trip. Didnt hear much from him, but he had a look. There was this distinctive i wanna get laid in langkawi look. He even brought along Men's Health to get a few pointers. Horny bitch .haha. What page was it again? 67 or 69? Then there's sun. She was an angel throughout the whole trip. Not even a sip of liquor. One minor flaw though, she keeps calling me a standard five kid. Standard five? I know i don't act my age but then again how does a 22 year old act? I would like to know. Sun you have to stop doin that. Show some respect. Haha. Finally there's josh. He was really excited bout the trip. I have the prove. Look at th pic. He showed that he can drive a stick really and go cart well. He was fine, sober. Then he drank too much and all hell broke loose. Among the things while he was piss drunk was bite my hand then he tried to make out with it, wanted to spoon andrew but refused to have butt sex with me(i was hurt, still am), there's more but i think i'll save him the embarrassment.haha. Left langkawai broke and a bad sun tan. Went into this car accessories shop and the sells person kept speaking to me in malay even when i told i'm a chinese in cantonese.

The reason..

Then here the whole reason i'm writing this shit. I don't why but these past few days i've been feeling bit down. More towards depressed. There's a saying you can lose everything but you cant lose hope. I felt i lost it. I really don't know why. But i kinda narrow it down to 3 things. The first is a mid life crisis,the second suffering from pms, and the third one is a combination of a several problems but something i can't share with you guys. I'm almost certain that i'm suffering from the third problem. But there's no way i can solve it without making a fucking fool out of myself. i dun mind making a freakin fool out myself if it guarantees i get over it really dun mind.... So i'm gonna let this problem eat me alive. I tried dealing with it but can't. Usually blasting my car stereo helps but it doesnt. Now i get my kicks from driving up hulu langat at night. It's a mountainous area, roads are winding and dark. Kinda like life. The only source of light is your headlight. One mistake up there and you may end up in the ditch like my friends car. Or even worst paralysed like my father's friend. Driving up there you forget all your problems cause all your concentration will be on the road. It's fun too, give you the initial d feel. But when i'm back down again the fucking feeling just comes back again. I don't know i just hope i get over it soon. But i do have solutions for the first two problems. Men suffering a mid life crisis usually get themselves a sport car. I was planning a subaru. But i could of never afford one of those now. So i'll have to settle for something less. It's also called subaru but i can't tell you it's definatly not the car. But they're practically the same. There's a variety of models choose from. And if you like you can ride them too. Andrew you wanna join? For my depression sake... And as for pms or at least i think i'm suffering from it. I hear chocolate helps. So far i think i ate half a bag of hersey kissies .but it didn't work. Maybe i'm not eating enough.. Gonna grow fuckin fat. Haha. So the only thing that's the working for me now is driving. So driving it is. I wish i can wake up and forget all this shit. For those for actually read this crap, if you don't understand don't even try too. Cause i myself don't even understand it. Just thought writing it out might just just make feel better.

dude, if u guys wanna go-kart give a date.

ciao.